Tag Archives: life

my dream life & its wardrobe

Recently, a new friend of mine (Cafe Fashionista) posted a “what if…” post, describing what she would do with her life if she had no responsibilities and could do whatever she wanted, every single day, and invited her readers to do the same.The result, for me at least, was a lovely fantasy that I enjoyed so much I want to share it with you, and I hope, desperately, that one day I can turn it into a reality.

If I could do whatever I wanted every single day, I would go everywhere. I would wear tights, slouchy boots and a loose tunic top or shirt dress, belted at the waist, and carry a big boho bag filled with a camera, good books, treats, spiffy pens and an incredible leather journal.

If my life were mine, to do with as I please, I would wander the beach, stopping occasionally to read or to write; the next day I would explore the city and spend the afternoon sitting outside at a coffee shop, writing about all of the different people who pass by and imagining what their lives are like; I would go deep inside a mountain cave, touching the rocks and writing about what they must be thinking of the crazy human who’s intruded on their home; visit an ancient forest, where I would write about the trees and imagine what they must have seen in their hundreds of years of life.

If my life were mine, I would write, and imagine, and explore, and re-discover the wonder that is the world around us.

What I wouldn’t give to be able to do that…

My daily wear would consist of…

Espresso Cross Body Satchel $36.00

Espresso Cross Body Satchel $36.00, via ThreadSence.com

I would carry this purse with this coraly dress when wandering cities and towns in the South, going through places like Dallas and Nashville:

Embroidered Peasant Dress & Belt via Forever21.com

Embroidered Peasant Dress & Belt via Forever21.com

And with this white dress when wandering through the countryside, meadows and playing in fields of wildflowers:

Embroidered Woven Dress via Forever21.com

Embroidered Woven Dress via Forever21.com

I would wear these shoes with both dresses:

UnionBay LuLu Sandal via Alloy.com

UnionBay LuLu Sandal via Alloy.com

Or maybe these boots:

Don't Come Walking Boot via ModCloth.com

Don't Come Walking Boot via ModCloth.com

This is the jacket I would wear with these dresses on chilly days:

Blended Leatherette Jacket via Forever21.com

Blended Leatherette Jacket via Forever21.com

Edgy Chic Zippered Tote via Forever21.com

Edgy Chic Zippered Tote via Forever21.com

I would carry this black bag (above) with this little but comfy and cute black dress (below) while people watching in places like NYC and LA.

Mesh Tiered Hem Dress via Forever21.com

Mesh Tiered Hem Dress via Forever21.com

I would cinch my waist up with this belt when wearing my LBD:

Studded Waist Belt via Forever21.com

Studded Waist Belt via Forever21.com

On chilly days, I would pull on these tights (or simple, opaque black ones, depending on my mood) to keep my legs warm:

Glam Rock Tights via Forever21.com

Glam Rock Tights via Forever21.com

This is the jacket I would wear to ward off the cold:

Crinkled Faux Leather Jacket via Forever21.com

Crinkled Faux Leather Jacket via Forever21.com

And these are the shoes I would wear with my LBD:

UnionBay Success Sandal via Alloy.com

UnionBay Success Sandal via Alloy.com

This would be my beach outfit, layered over my swim suit:

H&M Romper, shoes, bangle & sunglasses, via HM.com

H&M Romper, shoes, bangle & sunglasses, via HM.com

This would be my hiking outfit, along with the satchel from the top of this list:

Camping Cutie Top via ModCloth.com

Camping Cutie Top via ModCloth.com

Cargo Shorts With Sash via Charlotte Russe.com

Cargo Shorts With Sash via Charlotte Russe.com

Lace-Up Military Boot via ThreadSence.com

Lace-Up Military Boot via ThreadSence.com

And this would be the journal I cart around with me, and write and draw and express my every single thought and emotion and impression in:

Genuine Leather Writer's Notebook via Amazon.com

Genuine Leather Writer's Notebook via Amazon.com

Pen & Ink Fountain Pen Sketch Set Fine Point via Amazon.com

Pen & Ink Fountain Pen Sketch Set Fine Point via Amazon.com

If my life were mine own to live, this would be my attire and my tools; everything I need. What I wouldn’t give to be so free…

What would you do with your life if you were completely, utterly free? Imagine your life completely without restraint, without boundaries or borders or responsibilities or obligations – I dare you. Who would you be? Tell me.

(P.S. Don’t forget enter my ThreadSence.com giveaway!)

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summer fashion advice & fresh start anxiety

Vanity Black Shirt Dress & Express Jeans

Vanity Black Shirt Dress & Express Jeans

Vanity Black Shirt Dress & Express Jeans

Bebe Purse

Vanity Black Shirt Dress & Miley Cyrus Black Zipper Leggings

Miley Cyrus Black Zipper Leggings & Charlotte Russe Wedges

shirt dress, scarf, cross ring: Vanity; jeans: ReRock for Express; wedges: Charlotte Russe; earrings, purse: Bebe; bracelets & locket necklace: Forever 21; black zipper leggings: Miley Cyrus/Max Azria for Wal-Mart

I decided to photograph this outfit two different ways. I could have separated it into two different outfit posts, but IMO that would have been cheating, because it’s essentially the same outfit – I just switched the jeans for shiny black zipper leggings. I love it both ways,  one is a more relaxed day time look (with the jeans) and the other is sexier (with the leggings). I wanted to wear my chains necklace (it’s a darker metal color that matches the cuff bracelet I’m wearing) from Charlotte Russe instead of the locket with this, but as we’re still in the process of moving and getting organized, I haven’t been able to locate it in the mess… I hope it got packed! I’ll cry if I lost it in the move.

In the first few photos, I am wearing my new jeans from Express. I ❤ them so much!!! They’re gorgeous, and they complement my legs and hips perfectly. Next time I photograph them, I will be sure to get some close ups of the top – you can’t see it here, but there are studs all around the belt area and the pockets. Love it!

a little summer accessorizing advice:

If you’re like me, you can’t afford a new wardrobe every season, especially in these tough economic times. IMO, the best way to update your closet without having to spend major $$$ is to update your accessories and shoes to match the current trends and season. Much of the rest stays essentially the same anyway, unless you only buy the most forward of fashion.

Bright colors and crazy details are very in for this season. Think candy colors, like bright pink, neon yellow, turquoise and light purple; nude is also very in right now – think a shade or two lighter or darker than your skin tone. Ruffles are very feminine and attractive, but don’t go overboard or you’ll just end up looking poofy. Zippers, buckles and especially studs are very hot. A belted waist is still very chic and it shows off your curves, so invest in some cute belts! Update your khakis into the current trend by adding accessories with snake skin patterns, cord bracelets, hemp, wooden jewelry, etc – anything safarish.

If you’re only able to buy one or two new pairs of shoes this season, make sure to get at least one super high wedge! Extra points if it’s a peep toe. They are super comfy, crazy sexy, and so chic! I got these ones at Charlotte Russe for just $15.99 and I practically live in them. Wedges are perfect for those of us who love heels but have a hard time walking in stilettos. Detailing like buckles, zippers and studs give them a unique edge, but the wedge makes them fun and playful, a perfect combo for summertime.

One splurge every woman should indulge herself in is a designer  purse. The right bag will match just about every outfit you own without having to try, will last ages and all sorts of abuse, and will travel everywhere with you. It’s worth the extra $$$ because you’ll probably end up using it just about every day, and you’ll get so many extra miles out of one that’s well made!

Goals:
-Update blog every day, at least once daily
-Outfit posts at least three times weekly
-Write in journal daily
-Find a job by the end of May
-Meditate daily
-Exercise at least 3-4 times weekly

I’ve decided that my Fresh Start needs some goals to give me some direction. I’ve been here for almost a week and I haven’t gotten a damn thing done. I’ve been so tired… sleeping till 4 in the afternoon every day! Could have something to do with how late I’ve been staying up, but I think there is more to it than that. I was really sick last week, and I think part of my exhaustion and oversleeping stems from not really giving my body enough time to recuperate, especially with how very little I slept over the weekend. I think another part, the biggest part of it, is from anxiety and depression resulting from The Move. I want to make things work here, but I want to make them work on my terms, no one else’s. Unfortunately, I’m not sure that’s going to be possible… We’re living with T’s parents, so we have to please them, and T is also starting to pressure me about other aspects of our marriage he wants to work on. Personally, I would rather get settled here and let those things work themselves out, as I’m sure they eventually would. I don’t think he’s going to be very patient about it, though, and I think him rushing things is going to make things significantly worse rather than better. I just wish he would understand that.

I was really excited about The Move pre-move, but now that we have actually moved I finally have time to feel the anxiety that accompanies such a huge change in one’s life (and location). I feel… displaced. I miss my mommy and daddy and I wonder if I really will be able to find my place here. There were a lot of things that I hated about Utah, but I was comfortable there. I knew where things were and how things worked. Here is very different from there.

I think once I get a job and I have some money to go do the things I was excited about being able to do in California, some of that anxiety and that sense of displacement will dissipate. But at the same time, thinking about getting a job makes me feel even more anxious. New people and new situations scare and intimidate me. I think I will give myself the weekend to get to know my new town and adjust, and start the job hunt in earnest on Monday. Honestly, it would be bad ass if I can get a job at the mall or a clothing store, at least until I can find something more suited to my qualifications. Retail is easy.

So for now, I’m going to focus on this blog, and on getting settled here and finding a job. Those are the top three things on my list, and my goals will help me to achieve these things. I need to get comfortable in my new surroundings, and the best way to do that is to get to know them and to adjust my living quarters into something familiar. I miss my furniture and all of my space, but I will have to learn to make do with what I have. I need a bookcase desperately, but I can get one when I get a job. Everything seems to hinge on getting a job and making money.

The stress and anxiety of this new situation make it hard to not want to fall back into old, bad habits… it’s a good thing we no longer have access to the people we used to hang out with. A downside to that though is that my body seems to want to replace those habits with comfort food… I really need to find some new, healthier outlets for expressing and reducing stress. I wish I could afford a gym membership!

I really need to find a job, ASAP.

Sorry for the ridiculously long post…


drowsy blogging

Today was just another reminder that everything[one] is his; and it[they] will all go with him if he leaves.

I want to sleep by myself tonight. And he’s freaking out, thinking that means he should leave.

Why can’t he understand that I just want some time to myself tonight? I don’t make decisions like this in a split second. I need to decide what my plan for my life is from this point. There are so many HUGE decisions looming before us. I want to take the necessary time to make sure that I am doing what’s RIGHT for ME, and not just easier and less painful for the most people involved.

That doesn’t mean that I want him to leave; that simply means that I want him to leave me alone and stop glaring at me and demanding whether or not I’ve made a decision.

I just want to be sure that I make the best possible choice for me. I don’t want the next chapter of my life to be another dark one.

I am falling asleep as I type. Maybe I should go to bed.