Tag Archives: friends

publicity stunt

I’ve decided to take a bit of a risk and make this blog more public. Meaning, I’m shamelessly self-promoting on various fashion sites, and I’m also going to reveal it to my friends and family. Maybe my rambling will help them understand me better, or maybe it will just piss them off. Either way, this blog provides insight into my life and my thoughts and I think it’s important to share that with them. After everything I’ve put them through, I want them to know that I’m okay.

That being said, I also feel the need to issue a disclaimer: if you’re a friend/family member/loved one: if you think you may get offended by my bluntness, you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog. In addition to coping with my fashion obsession, this is where I type out loud and think things through. Many of my thoughts are written here in their raw form and thus have edges and sharp comments. Don’t take me too seriously – I don’t.

I don’t want to be a poser. I want to be the real thing.

I want a pair of shoes from Aldo’s 😦

When you’re done here, you should check out the awesome giveaway going on at Flaming Hag Folkwear.

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first day

Sorry for the lack of postage today… I worked from 12-5, came home and watched a couple episodes of the Daily Show (LOVE Jon Stewart!), and fell asleep. I was so tired! I really need to start going to bed at a decent hour and getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep, especially now that I’m working. I fell asleep so many times at work today! I just hope that my new boss didn’t notice.

I really like this job… I really don’t want to move now! I mean, I do, but I wish I could transplant this job with me. I still really want to go to California, but I really don’t want to leave this job.

I apologize for not posting any outfit photos today… like I said, I fell asleep, and my hair was a mess when I woke up a few minutes ago. BUT, tomorrow is going to be a day of browsing vintage stores (after I donate plasma again… lame) and the mall, so I swear you’ll get photos tomorrow! PLUS, it’s going to be warm tomorrow (yay!) so I’m probably going to wear my new shorts!

We had been planning on moving on the 25th, but if T’s parents won’t drive down with us (which I’m pretty sure they won’t), I’m thinking we’ll stay until the 28th or 29th. That way I can work as long as possible, and N & A have a little bit longer to figure something out.

I really do feel bad about abandoning them, but they’re also kind of pissing me off. They haven’t even paid us back the $40 they owe us, let alone any money towards rent like they said they would! I get that they have to pay for gas and whatever, but I know for a fact that they also spent at least $100 on green… ARGH! T and I are both really peeved about that. To me, it’s incredibly disrespectful and an abuse of our friendship. They’re living off of us and not paying us a dime OR even acting a little bit grateful. A has gotten two pay checks and a lot of birthday money, and still nothing. Not only that, but they won’t even buy their own food!

It really pisses me off, because T and I have both been out of work and we’re broke as fuck too. We’ve both been donating plasma to help make ends meet and get groceries, and N point blank refuses to donate! I understand why A doesn’t – she does work – but N just sits home and plays LoL all fucking day! He hasn’t done a damn thing to help out, and he refuses to help for no good reason.

I love my friends, but sometimes they really piss me off.


fashion nerd

(white tank: fruit of the loom; destroyed denim skirt: aeropostale; black wide belt: f21; scarf & stud bracelet: vanity; tights, bangle watch & cameo cocktail ring: bebe; b&w bangle: jc penney; pink bangle: vintage; b&w recycle/world/peace bracelet: walmart; flower hair clip: vintage)

The promised outfit photos… sorry there isn’t a full body one, but it’s awfully hard to get one of yourself! I was going for a summery look (because I’m excited to go to CA where it’s warm!), but my legs are so white there would have been glare in the photos if I had neglected to wear tights! I could have thrown a black cardigan over this too and it would have looked great. As it was, I wore it with my long black bebe trench coat and black ballet flats (Charlotte Russe) when I went out. It was cute and comfy and easy. Once I get some color to my skin, I plan to lose the tights and switch to some colorful flat sandals. When that happens you’ll see more pictures!

Added lots of new links on the right. Spent much of the day perusing fashion blogs and websites. Found lots of inspiration and things that I want – I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a job more than I did today! I wish I had money so I could buy all the gorgeous things I found today. *sighs* If you’re a fashion geek like me, you should definitely check them out! There’s some really great stuff on those sites!

I did visit the mall today, but I didn’t get there till a half hour before closing, so I didn’t have much time to wander. I went into Vanity and found a shoulder bag that I want, and it’s on sale… decided I have to sleep on that one though. If I still want it in the morning I can have it. I also found a pair of shoes at Charlotte Russe that I am DEFINITELY going back for in the morning! They are on sale for $15, but unfortunately I only had $11 on me. I was so mad at myself for not bringing a little more cash – argh! But, they are holding them for me, and I am going down first thing in the morning to get them. They are so incredibly cute!!! They’re super tall, but surprisingly comfy. They’re black, and I’ve already decided that I’m wearing tights in the morning so I can put them on as soon as I buy them. I’m so excited for them, I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep! I’m such a nerd! And you can bet your ass I will be posting pictures as soon as I get them!

I was able to get a beautiful cameo cocktail ring from bebe – it was on sale *and* I was able to use my Bebe rewards on it, so I was able to get it for free! I don’t have much in the way of rings, because I don’t normally wear them, but Liz of Late Afternoon is obsessed with them, and after reading her blog for the last six months or so, it’s starting to rub off on me. I’m slowly building my collection of rings, but I have to make sure to get ones that I love, otherwise I don’t ever wear them.

bebe cameo cocktail ring

This blog is turning more towards fashion than confessional… I think that may be because now that I have decided to move to CA, I don’t feel nearly so… so oppressed. There are still problems we have to deal with, and moving is going to be a pain in the ass, but knowing that there is beautiful sunshine and sandy beaches at the end of the tunnel has helped me immensely. I will miss my friends and my family so much, and I really hate that my mom and I have *finally* developed a good relationship, and I’m leaving… but they’ll get by without me. I need to get my life turned around.

A is angry at me for leaving, probably because she won’t have a free place to live any more (we’ve also been feeding both A & N, and loaning them tons of money for gas and cigarettes and tampons), and I don’t think it’s fair for her to be mad. If they were on the lease and/or actually paying us rent and not just mooching off of us, I could understand them being upset. But they’ve been here for a month, and they’ve given us $3. I’m really kinda peeved at them. If they weren’t so selfish, maybe they could understand why we need to go.

I’m *considering* changing the blog address… Comment or message me if you want the new address. I figure I should probably change it before I get too much of a following (assuming I ever get a following). But I like the one I have now, too. Maybe I’ll separate the fashion and the personal. I dunno. Argh.

Tired. I’m going to go watch Vampire Diaries and the Mentalist now. then go to bed. I have another job interview tomorrow afternoon at 2, but where I’m moving to Cali I’m seriously considering blowing it off… it’s not a job I can work for two weeks then stop showing up. Well, it is, but then I would leave the company hanging pretty bad and that’s just irresponsible. Plus, I really just don’t want to go. Kinda feels like a waste of time!

I’ll post photos in the morning after I get my bad ass new shoes from the store, so make sure to check in to see what all the hype is about! 🙂

P.S…. Look for some massive updates/revisions/additions throughout the day tomorrow!


working

So I went for an interview at a staffing agency this morning and ended up temping as a receptionist this afternoon! Yay!

I’m typing this as I tend the front desk, and I gotta say, it’s kinda nice. Easy work, answering the phone and signing for packages… I could do this all day honestly. I’m so very glad I decided to do this. It’s nice to be out of the house and making some money. I almost can’t wait to get back to work. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy new jobs. It’s always a little scary at first, but I get the hang of things pretty quickly, and from there it’s fun and interesting.

Talked to an old friend last night. By old friend, I mean ex-boyfriend and would-have-been-father of my aborted pregnancy. That was four years ago. I’ve only seen him once since.

And I do miss him. I think about him, more than I would like to. He said he regrets having the abortion. That he sometimes dreams we had a little girl. He could be a welcome distraction from how horrible my life has become.

Or he could just add to the complications. Which do you think is more likely?

Tried talking to A about it. I was looking for a little loving support… what I got was a reminder that these are not my friends. They’re T’s. That’s how they started out, and I have a pretty good feeling that’s how they’ll end up as well. Getting a divorce would probably also mean losing most of my friends.

I think that’s the hardest part of the situation for me. Our closest friends are actually his. I have my own… but I don’t get to see them very often. I feel alienated from them, because of him. He gets angry when I talk about our relationship. But sometimes I need someone else to talk to. Sometimes I need support and objective advice that he can’t give me.

*sighs*

Work day is over. Grocery shopping after this, then home. Hopefully T didn’t get stuck in traffic coming to pick me up. Cross your fingers for me!


introduction

New blog, new host, new audience…. Maybe an introduction is in order.

I want to record who I am right now, at the start of my journey, so that I can always remember.

For the purpose of this blog, my name is Sparrow.
My favorite colors are black and pink.
I am currently unemployed and looking hard for a new job.
I am Wiccan, liberal and lost.
I read tarot cards and I am very interested in fashion.
When I grow up I want to write for a fashion magazine (hopefully Glamour).
My favorite bands are Breaking Benjamin, Staind & Evanescence.
I live in Salt Lake City, Utah.
I live with my husband (T), two friends (Ad, a girl; and N, a boy), and two kitties (a boy and a girl). Our good friend B hangs out frequently, but due to his often strange behavior and personality quirks, he is the butt of many jokes amongst The Group. We’re kinda like That 70’s Show… T and I are Eric and Donna, Ad and N are kinda like Jackie and Hyde, and B is a combination of Kelso and Fez.

I feel lost and confused, dazed and disoriented. But I also feel like I’m starting to come out of it. I have a chance to start over, and I am going to take full advantage of it. I’m starting to pull it together and I’m beginning to think I might have a future after all.

I am developing a passion for fashion and art and culture, and I am re-discovering my passion for writing. I want to go back to school and finish out a Journalism major and one day (hopefully sooner rather than later) I want to write for Glamour magazine.

I can’t wait to get my life moving again. I think I’m finally figuring it out.