Tag Archives: California

sleeping beauty

Brown Top, Ivory Vest & Khaki Shorts

Accessories

Brown Top, Ivory Vest & Khaki Shorts

Gold Leaf Earrings

Brown Top, Ivory Vest & Khaki Shorts

Beige Oxfords

brown v-neck tee :: Express; ivory slub vest :: Charlotte Russe; khaki shorts :: Aeropostale; scarf :: Charlotte Russe; cord belt :: Charlotte Russe; necklace :: Charlotte Russe; wooden bangle :: Charlotte Russe; earrings :: Forever 21; gold & pearl rings :: Forever 21; pink heart ring :: Hard Candy; men’s watch :: JC Penney; beige oxfords :: Qupid @ Forever Young; magazine :: June 2010 issue of Glamour

This is the outfit I wore on Thursday. I have a couple ideas for remixing it, and I plan to try them out soon. One plan involves a dark olive green cardigan instead of the vest, and possibly switching the khaki shorts out for some similarly colored pants. This remix idea would definitely be more cool-weather friendly, which seems to be more appropriate at the moment. I was excited to move to California because it was supposed to be warm here; so far we’ve only had a handful of days I could stand to wear shorts outside. I’m very disappointed in CA weather! At least it’s raining in Utah… I miss the rain, desperately. I was not made to live in a desert. I need something green. I think I’d like to move to Washington or Oregon sometime soon.

I am absolutely in love with these shoes and this vest… The vest is all over sized and comfy and soft and lovely, but lightweight enough to layer with it in the summer. I have a similar one in black that I adore – it looks amazing thrown over something white or gray. I’m loving vests right now, and I plan to pick up a few fitted ones very soon.

There is something seriously wrong with me. I went to sleep at about 5:00 a.m. Friday morning… and didn’t wake up until 1:00 a.m. on Saturday – 20 hours later. I was up for a few hours, then went back to sleep about 7:00 a.m. until 10:00 Saturday night! It’s now about 5:00 a.m. Sunday, and the really sad thing is, I feel like I could lay down and go back to sleep. I’m afraid that if I do go back to sleep, I’ll sleep through an entire day again… and that would really make John angry. So, I’m going to stay up, and tomorrow evening I’m going to be in bed by 10:00 p.m., at the absolute latest.

It may sound cheesy, but I have written a “Plan of Action” for myself for the next week. It includes a list of all the things I need to accomplish and the goals I have for myself. I’m going to keep track by writing myself a daily to do list and recording my progress and thoughts in my journal. Suzanne suggested something similar a few weeks ago, and I think that having goals for my day, and a way to see my productivity at the end of the day, will encourage me to get myself moving and get things done. Hopefully, it will also help to pull me out of my funk. I did go for a jog Thursday morning, and it made me feel tons better. I enjoy being physically active, it’s just a matter of motivating myself to get away from my computer. If it’s decently warm in the morning, I’m going to go for another jog. If not, I’m at least going to work out on the weights in the garage.

John has started referring to my cats as “Trail Mix”, because they follow me everywhere. And this is not a new phenomenon – they did it back in Salt Lake, too. My little sister says they’re only friendly when I’m around. People can say what they want about cats, but Vince and Lily definitely know who they belong to.

Me & Vince

Me & Vince

Oh yeah – don’t forget to enter my ThreadSence Giveaway! Deadline for entries is 11:59 p.m. Tuesday, May 25th!

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good morning… er… afternoon…

Spent the morning laying in bed watching Smallville with T. Things have been much better since we decided to move to California. We’ve had a few fights, but significantly less than before, and I think he’s a lot more secure in our relationship since I’ve decided I want to run away with him.

Today so far has been very unproductive, but now that I’m up and moving and my roommates are home, it’s time for me to get up and moving. We have a LOT to do if we’re actually going to move next weekend. Next weekend! Holy crap. We’re moving on April 24th… Crazy. I’m so nervous, but so excited! I can’t wait to go, but there is so much to do.

We still haven’t done our taxes. T is kind of a slacker. That’s something else we have to get done tonight.

Lots left to do today, and the day is almost over. I really, really want to get an outfit photo up, so I’m going to get on that. Soon.


fashion nerd

(white tank: fruit of the loom; destroyed denim skirt: aeropostale; black wide belt: f21; scarf & stud bracelet: vanity; tights, bangle watch & cameo cocktail ring: bebe; b&w bangle: jc penney; pink bangle: vintage; b&w recycle/world/peace bracelet: walmart; flower hair clip: vintage)

The promised outfit photos… sorry there isn’t a full body one, but it’s awfully hard to get one of yourself! I was going for a summery look (because I’m excited to go to CA where it’s warm!), but my legs are so white there would have been glare in the photos if I had neglected to wear tights! I could have thrown a black cardigan over this too and it would have looked great. As it was, I wore it with my long black bebe trench coat and black ballet flats (Charlotte Russe) when I went out. It was cute and comfy and easy. Once I get some color to my skin, I plan to lose the tights and switch to some colorful flat sandals. When that happens you’ll see more pictures!

Added lots of new links on the right. Spent much of the day perusing fashion blogs and websites. Found lots of inspiration and things that I want – I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a job more than I did today! I wish I had money so I could buy all the gorgeous things I found today. *sighs* If you’re a fashion geek like me, you should definitely check them out! There’s some really great stuff on those sites!

I did visit the mall today, but I didn’t get there till a half hour before closing, so I didn’t have much time to wander. I went into Vanity and found a shoulder bag that I want, and it’s on sale… decided I have to sleep on that one though. If I still want it in the morning I can have it. I also found a pair of shoes at Charlotte Russe that I am DEFINITELY going back for in the morning! They are on sale for $15, but unfortunately I only had $11 on me. I was so mad at myself for not bringing a little more cash – argh! But, they are holding them for me, and I am going down first thing in the morning to get them. They are so incredibly cute!!! They’re super tall, but surprisingly comfy. They’re black, and I’ve already decided that I’m wearing tights in the morning so I can put them on as soon as I buy them. I’m so excited for them, I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep! I’m such a nerd! And you can bet your ass I will be posting pictures as soon as I get them!

I was able to get a beautiful cameo cocktail ring from bebe – it was on sale *and* I was able to use my Bebe rewards on it, so I was able to get it for free! I don’t have much in the way of rings, because I don’t normally wear them, but Liz of Late Afternoon is obsessed with them, and after reading her blog for the last six months or so, it’s starting to rub off on me. I’m slowly building my collection of rings, but I have to make sure to get ones that I love, otherwise I don’t ever wear them.

bebe cameo cocktail ring

This blog is turning more towards fashion than confessional… I think that may be because now that I have decided to move to CA, I don’t feel nearly so… so oppressed. There are still problems we have to deal with, and moving is going to be a pain in the ass, but knowing that there is beautiful sunshine and sandy beaches at the end of the tunnel has helped me immensely. I will miss my friends and my family so much, and I really hate that my mom and I have *finally* developed a good relationship, and I’m leaving… but they’ll get by without me. I need to get my life turned around.

A is angry at me for leaving, probably because she won’t have a free place to live any more (we’ve also been feeding both A & N, and loaning them tons of money for gas and cigarettes and tampons), and I don’t think it’s fair for her to be mad. If they were on the lease and/or actually paying us rent and not just mooching off of us, I could understand them being upset. But they’ve been here for a month, and they’ve given us $3. I’m really kinda peeved at them. If they weren’t so selfish, maybe they could understand why we need to go.

I’m *considering* changing the blog address… Comment or message me if you want the new address. I figure I should probably change it before I get too much of a following (assuming I ever get a following). But I like the one I have now, too. Maybe I’ll separate the fashion and the personal. I dunno. Argh.

Tired. I’m going to go watch Vampire Diaries and the Mentalist now. then go to bed. I have another job interview tomorrow afternoon at 2, but where I’m moving to Cali I’m seriously considering blowing it off… it’s not a job I can work for two weeks then stop showing up. Well, it is, but then I would leave the company hanging pretty bad and that’s just irresponsible. Plus, I really just don’t want to go. Kinda feels like a waste of time!

I’ll post photos in the morning after I get my bad ass new shoes from the store, so make sure to check in to see what all the hype is about! 🙂

P.S…. Look for some massive updates/revisions/additions throughout the day tomorrow!


escape from Utah

I’ve been neglecting my blog this morning because I got distracted… I found some fabulous new fashion blogs (blushing ambition & fashion for writers), some spiffy new stores (revolve clothing) and an awesome new fashion community (lookbook.nu). Unfortunately I can’t join the community (it’s invite only), which makes me very sad, but I can look and comment using my face book profile. Hopefully I can make a friend on there who will invite me! Some of the girls on there are *amazing*… I’ve already got ideas for lots of new outfits. I want to go shopping so badly! I hate being broke!

Part of my strong desire for a new summer wardrobe stems from the recent decision to move to California… Hesperia, to be exact. We’ll be moving in with T’s dad, step mom, step brother & step sister. I’m nervous, and excited, and terrified, and anxious, and worried, and exhilarated all at once. I think things will get better if we can get away from all of the negative energy and bad influences here in Utah. And if things don’t work out, we can always come back to Salt Lake in a few months.

What people don’t understand is that Utah is a completely different world than the rest of the US… some people are made to live here, within this little bubble, for their entire lives. I’m not. I can sense that there is life and light and adventure beyond the state borders, and I want desperately to get out and experience it. I’m sure it will lead to a whole new set of mistakes, but I refuse to repeat the ones that I have already made.

Now that I’ve made the decision, I want to go NOW… I’m too excited to wait. But I have to. Travis will hopefully be starting a new job on Monday (hopefully me too!), and we need to make some money before we go. We’re probably moving the last weekend in April – which is only two weeks away! I thought it was further than that… then I looked at a calendar last night. Wow! I’m considering pushing it back to the next weekend… but I don’t know. We’ll see what we can work out with our landlord I guess.

I posted on my Facebook that I was moving to CA… and my ex/best friend (we’ll call him TC) sent me an email… normally I’m really good at hiding my emotions until I can be alone, but when I read it I immediately broke down crying in front of T. It was all about how he doesn’t want me to go, he still loves me, he doesn’t think T actually loves me, he just wants to make me happy, etc etc etc. I sent him one back explaining my feelings for him (I’ll always love him) but that I have good reasons for going. There is no future for me here in Utah. There is only darkness and despair and a constant cycle of repeated mistakes.

It’s going to be hard. And there is a vast potential for things to go wrong.

But there is that same potential for things to go RIGHT.

And no matter how hard this gets, I have to do this to save my life.

I’m going to go take a shower now, and try out one of my new outfits. I’ll post a picture later, so come back often.

I have a feeling today will be a very post-full day.


indecision

Added a new page for my fashion exploits. Please feel free to check it out and leave me commentary. I will start posting some of my fantastic wardrobe creations tomorrow, so be sure to check in sometime in the afternoon.

Considering an excursion to the mall tomorrow. Not that I have any money to spend, but it could be fun to get all dressed up and pretend to be rich with money to blow. I could put together outfits and try them on in the fitting rooms and take pictures with my phone. Could be fun. It would get me out of the house and some much needed me-time.

I am definitely going to the library tomorrow, and quite possibly the coffee shop. Both places I can study and write, which I desperately want to do but can’t seem to concentrate or focus here at home. Too many distractions and too much negative energy.

I have a job interview in the morning. Wish me luck! I really want to get a job, even if we do move to CA. I want to work. After two full months of unemployment, I’m bored and I need a change in my routine of laziness and self pity. I am so sick of being stuck in the house all the time and never having money to get out.

I have to decide by tomorrow if we’re moving. Part of me really wants to go – this is exactly what I’ve been saying I want for years now. A chance to get away and start over; to go somewhere no one knows who I am, what I’ve done or anything about any of the mistakes that I’ve made. I would get to start completely over, but I wouldn’t be completely by myself.

But something is holding me back. I’m terrified we’ll get there, and instead of things getting better like I’m hoping, everything will just finish disintegrating. PLUS, as I understand it, the job market is in pretty sad shape down there. I’m afraid of not being able to find jobs and having to come back here anyway.

I don’t know. But I have to work it out by morning.

I think I will consult my tarot cards. Maybe I’ll even pray. It’s been a while since I’ve really talked with the Lord and Lady. Maybe now would be the right time to ask for a little guidance. Cuz I honestly have no idea what to do.

Maybe I do, and I’m just afraid to do it.