indecision

Added a new page for my fashion exploits. Please feel free to check it out and leave me commentary. I will start posting some of my fantastic wardrobe creations tomorrow, so be sure to check in sometime in the afternoon.

Considering an excursion to the mall tomorrow. Not that I have any money to spend, but it could be fun to get all dressed up and pretend to be rich with money to blow. I could put together outfits and try them on in the fitting rooms and take pictures with my phone. Could be fun. It would get me out of the house and some much needed me-time.

I am definitely going to the library tomorrow, and quite possibly the coffee shop. Both places I can study and write, which I desperately want to do but can’t seem to concentrate or focus here at home. Too many distractions and too much negative energy.

I have a job interview in the morning. Wish me luck! I really want to get a job, even if we do move to CA. I want to work. After two full months of unemployment, I’m bored and I need a change in my routine of laziness and self pity. I am so sick of being stuck in the house all the time and never having money to get out.

I have to decide by tomorrow if we’re moving. Part of me really wants to go – this is exactly what I’ve been saying I want for years now. A chance to get away and start over; to go somewhere no one knows who I am, what I’ve done or anything about any of the mistakes that I’ve made. I would get to start completely over, but I wouldn’t be completely by myself.

But something is holding me back. I’m terrified we’ll get there, and instead of things getting better like I’m hoping, everything will just finish disintegrating. PLUS, as I understand it, the job market is in pretty sad shape down there. I’m afraid of not being able to find jobs and having to come back here anyway.

I don’t know. But I have to work it out by morning.

I think I will consult my tarot cards. Maybe I’ll even pray. It’s been a while since I’ve really talked with the Lord and Lady. Maybe now would be the right time to ask for a little guidance. Cuz I honestly have no idea what to do.

Maybe I do, and I’m just afraid to do it.

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About Jennifer

Single supermom, fashion nerd, beauty lover, writer/stylist & Cool Kid Extraordinaire. Best mommy to best daughter ever. Snapchat at us @momkumquat View all posts by Jennifer

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